Why adults have extramarital affairs?
Speak about a loaded subject that no one wants to chat about, this is it. Amusing thing, affairs have been going on from old ages. Extramarital relationships can be filled with problems, cause misery, and other troubles. Plus you must wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and sincerety issue, money, age dissimilarity, faith upbringing, remorse, and on and on. I anticipate there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the purpose of this article I should classify an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, married woman date.
Why do people have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are people seeking affairs. I am conserned generally though it is just the human condition, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and appreciated. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasing and fun, and sex makes us escape the world for a short period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people can switch the desire on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. Though we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the stimulation of the chase. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another individual, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos people has erected against affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will beat their worries and make them risk the rage of not only their relatives, but the public also. So why, what is the method?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is awfully pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not hurt your spouse or anybody else? You will need to minimize the danger you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is beneficial to everyone, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the biggest cluster, colossal in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they feel happy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to think about. Your funds are so entangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that prevent them completing the sex performance, at least not with their othere half. An marital affair occasionally solves the trouble while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Avoidance, sadly this is a regular groung I fear. One or the other, generally the guy is sexually neglecting his female for a multitude of reasons. As a male I really appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them obtainable to us males of romance, making them “lonely wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not only neglectful, but evil.
Something is just missing in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Perhaps its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be compassion is not here, maybe it is the intimacy, could be neglect. Maybe we have just developed apart, our relulas interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is opposite of what you want. Maybe I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The major reason people give is, they seek the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to get away, for economic gain, for payback and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.